Darwin, Cairns and Cape Tribulation

You pull out a tent peg and suddenly rendered frozen in a position no sensible human would choose bent staring at the floor cursing for England. We knew it was bound to happen to one of us slaves to our vertebrae discs – over six weeks camping full of tent erections and blow up mattresses, climbing in and out of cramped vans, on and off precarious bed-ledges designed for lithesome ten year olds. This time the twisted spirit of slippery discs frowned upon Marco – and we gingerly said farewell to Broome in baking sunshine leaving by plane instead of the 4WD drive tour of the Kimbereley’s to Darwin that would have taken us deeply off road 'outback' for sure.

Our short and sultry experience of Darwin was made all the more invigorating by the energetic company of Brad and Aileeen who seemingly took us under their wings as we bumbled around the Barramundi Lodge backpackers like fish out of water searching in vain for pain relief and our ensuite respectively! At 11pm it was a humid 28 degrees and sweat was collecting in pools at our feet. The temperature rockets up in the summer and the humidity clocks 100 per cent. Then only english-folk and backpackers venture out for some extra tea of a long run at midday in a freshly starched collar!!
Our new pals from the Northern territories (of the UK) took us for tours round the compact city which boasts all the trappings of a modern city, a posh harbour full of grog palaces, a waterfront, hotels full of japanese tourists and a higher than average use of valium and amphetamines! Darwin is a town full of outbacker spirit and a real frontier state...the closest town where you can get dinner being Kupang in West Timor. It has gone through sweeping changes over 20 years and boasts all the mod cons and an extraordinary council building which wouldn't be out of place in Gormenghast. Definitely worth a visit and of course right on the start/end of a visit to the Kimberleys
Unfortunately the stifling frustration of not being able to move, sit, stand or lie down comfortably drove Mark onwards and eastwards and we flew out of Darwin three days later to the more temperate climate of Cairns - in search of physiotherapy and the tropical rainforest.
We arrive in Carins and set up in the Comfort Inn. Charming people and comfy beds. Also a small bar by the pool which opened every night for Seabreezes and the 'Lobeter Pot' restaurant which included a chef who looked like he had just walked in from a stint on a desert island and didn't have time to spruce up before putting on the fatigues for cooking.

And this is where it to go a bit pear shaped! Having been a confirmed Brian ‘magic hands’ Bourne (chiropractor and white wizard) fan for years Marco was loathe to cross no mans land into enemy territory but a physio was all that was on offer. The result was almost predictable - and if it wasn't so mindnumbingly painful, rather amusing - and a full bells ringing, onlooker wailing removal from the the practise on a stretcher into an ambulance. This was only after an ethereal amount of morphine and a lot of encouragement from the paramedics, one of whom was from Weston-super-mare. Great photo opportunity pour moi! Especially the zimmer frame stolen from the one legged octagenerian in the bed next door – which heralded the first steps by our hero: definitely one for the archives!
After copious amounts of mind altering drugs (would prefer body altering ones please) we were able to set off to the tropical lushness of the rainforest in Cape Tribulation named by Capt Cook due to the problems he had navigating the Great Barruier Reef when he first landed on the east coast 80 years after old Uncle William. Us Dampiers’ are made of sterner stuff and I drove Mark carefully northwards after several days recuperation and catch-up with the English Premiership overlooking Cairns Esplanade. The piece of highway between Port Douglas and Cairns is probably my favourite patch of road this side of Austrlaia – empty white beaches joined at the hip with tangled rainforest and the most azure of seas. As we approached Cape Trib the weather got warmer and wetter – it is RAINforest after all and the road recently metallised wound through the twisting canopy and boughs like parasitic ivy. It felt wrong that modern technology and the combustion engine should invade this wonderland - where nature is in control and man is not King.
We holed up at Cape Trib camping in a safari tent straight from 'Carry on up the Khyber' The beach was on our doorstep and tropical birds seranaded us all day and night whilst forest turkeys wandered around the campsite with their red shrivelled necks a blank looks. the campsite was a mix of all nationalities from around the world and the camp kitchen was like 'Hells Kitchen' every night!!
The whole coast is a tangle of mangrove and Salties (large crocodiles) have made their home here. The females tend to live up the creeks and require about 1.5km of free space. The males are polygamous and like to have three or four females in their hareem and keep a close eye on them all, but they are their own bosses and they do have the weekends off!
Despite the beauty of the beaches and the surf you can only swim here for approx 4 months of the years. The stinger Jelly-fish, which live attached to the mangrove roots for the winter all release themselves into the creeks and then the sea and get mating too, then you swim in the sea at your peril.
We observed lady crocs in the creek trying to warm themselves up, the water temperature being a little too cool for them. They look so passive but i am sure they can move incredibly fast when roused.
The Daintree Rainforset is the oldest rainforest in the world at 65 million years and beats the Amazon by some way - the Amazon being about 10 million years old - and has the greatest diversity in the world. It is also the omnly place in the world where two world heritage sites meet each other..the Daintree Rainforest and the Great Barrier Reef and it certainly is a jewel in Australia.
We stop in at Port Douglas on the way back to Cairns. A beautiful coastal town with a beautiful river port and anchorage leading to the sea. It is also extremely posh and is littered with Hydratherapy hotels with attached golf courses..the ideal his and hers weekend spot. There are happy smiling uniformly tanned couples smiling at you from their futon romp having just returned from their respective therapies imploring you to join their world from hoarding outside every 'village', yuk...no thanks you obviously never eat cheesecake and i don't want a condo.
We ahve to leave Cairns for Brisbane and we have picked up a great diving deal for 'Heron Island'...so that is too good to miss.
Goodbye Cairns and hello island cheesecake!